For many families across the country, this week is an opportunity for rest, relaxation, and a whole lot of good food on the table. However, for many seniors, this time of the year is a particularly anxious one as they begin to dread the never ending questions, opinions, and unsolicited advice that are often attached to family members’ interest in their college plans.
Thanksgiving and fall break lands at a tricky time for seniors as they are often still engaged in the tense waiting game of impending college decisions. While many students may have already received good news from their rolling admissions and/or early action applicants, just as many seniors are still anxiously awaiting decisions in December and/or still working on their applications for the regular decision deadlines just around the corner.
Here are are a few helpful ways to support your seniors while also keeping peace at the dining room table.
Anticipate The Conversations:
Whether we like it or not, someone is bound to bring up the topic of college and as the parent of a stressed senior it’s your job to play interference. With the utmost empathy, try and remind your student that whether it’s Grandpa, their aunt, or their cousin twice removed, there will inevitably be best intentioned missteps. As you discuss this with your senior, try your best to get a sense of how they feel about discussing their college plans. Are they perfectly fine talking about this all night? Are they nervous because they don’t know where they will end up next fall? Regardless of how your student is handling this process, it’s important for them to have time to prepare for the litany of questions coming their way, decide how they want to respond, and for you to help them plan ahead for any questions coming their way.
Stay Vigilant:
If someone isn’t taking your teen’s hint that she doesn’t want to talk about this right now, be ready to make a save. Ask your teen or the inquisitor for help in the kitchen or with clearing plates, or join the conversation and move them away from the topic.
Let Them Speak for Themselves:
If college comes up, don’t start talking as if you are your student. They may be wrestling with a decision that they haven’t yet communicated to you, or feel embarrassed that you are the one talking about what is supposed to be their decision and journey.
Don’t Bring It Up:
You may be feeling all kinds of college-related anxiety yourself, and feel like you need to unload about the process, the cost, the fact that you were tearing out your hair from worry while junior waited until the 11th hour to submit applications. Process all that with a friend, spouse or therapist before or after the Thanksgiving gathering. This is not the time to make it all about you.
This advice can help your teen enjoy a less-stressful Thanksgiving, and although they may not express it, they will be thankful that you’re in their corner.
